I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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