they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Let's get the cat blown out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
