Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
