...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
