I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
