hotel room ftw
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
now i know why i became what i already was.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
