I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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