she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
