you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
