Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
