I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just pee around me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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