Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
