That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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