This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
