Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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