Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
