i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
