Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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