Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
