You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
