put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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