I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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