dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
