But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
