Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
