No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Houston, we have a squirter
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
