i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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