yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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