I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
