I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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