I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
