dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
