Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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