i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Quick, to the slutcave!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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