im drinking this country out of the recession.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
