Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
is it fun? or sober?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
