So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
