In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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