Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
