I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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