next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I would fuck him just for his dog
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
