my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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