Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
