I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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