good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
