I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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