Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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