I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
