escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
