I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
