youre lurking in front of me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't deserve a penis
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
