You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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